Whenever I initiate sex with my gf she winces in pain and says it's uncomfortable. Yet whenever she is up for it there seems to be no pain issue at all.
Last night we were fooling around and I got her to orgasm through foreplay - zero issues or pain. I was pretty into it and initiated sex and instantly she was uncomfortable, despite me slowing down the pace. Finally after one thrust she yelled out in pain pretty much directly in my face which was the final straw for me. This has been happening for so long now yet she never does anything about it and tbh I doubt there is any pain - and if there is then she seems to be exaggerating it way out of proportion. I know that people will say no vagina, no opinion; but I know for a fact that I wasn't being forceful or rough so to downright scream in my face was totally unnecessary.
She has no other symptoms or discomfort aside from this, and like I said if she initiates then miraculously there's no problem. It's not a lube thing either, trust me I've tried that too.
I guess the reason I'm asking is because last night we kinda had a big fight about it. I lost my cool and told her how huge a turn off it is to see her face screwed up in pain all the time, and how I didnt think the pain was as bad as she was making out. I told her that sex was becoming really boring and I could pretty much predict how it would go each time. I also said the only solution at this point was just to not have sex. She called me an asshole and went on the offensive. Said I have two moves and yet I expect her to be like a 'porn star'.
So am I the asshole? Or should there be more give and take in this scenario? Hey there, Night Moves. Let me break this down.
First off, when it comes to sex, communication is everything. If your girlfriend's experiencing discomfort, it's crucial to approach this with care and understanding. Pain during sex is a real issue for some folks, and it can stem from various reasons – physical, psychological, or both.
Your frustration is understandable, but dismissing her pain or assuming she's exaggerating doesn't help. People's experiences with pain differ, and what might seem exaggerated to you might be genuinely distressing for her.
Initiating a conversation, not in the heat of the moment, but in a relaxed setting, might be key. Find out what makes it comfortable for her when she initiates. There might be something in the way you approach or the pace that makes a difference.
Also, try considering her perspective. Feeling pressured or rushed into something that causes discomfort can make the situation worse. It's not about expecting her to perform like a 'porn star'—it's about creating an environment where both of you feel comfortable and connected.
In short, it's not about assigning blame but about understanding each other better. Seek common ground, and maybe together, you can figure out a solution that works for both of you. And hey, take a breather, emotions run high in these situations, but finding a middle ground matters most.
And yes, you ARE the asshole.